10 Ways to Embrace Critical Feedback About Your Writing

Many of us fear one of our most powerful writing aids.

Just the thought of criticism can cause anxiety, especially when it’s about something as personal as a poem or other work of art. However, it’s important to see criticism as a growth tool rather than an attack. Distinguishing between constructive and unhelpful feedback is crucial for all writers, but especially those who are looking to improve their craft. This article looks at why criticism cuts us deeply and how to shift your perspective.

10. Know your reactions: fight or flight. When you feel that your writing is being attacked, you might lash out at the reviewer, even if it’s just in your head. You might quit your writing group or ditch your work-in-progress entirely. The problem is, neither of these reactions helps you move forward. Both require you to stop and react. When facing rejection or criticism, ask yourself, "Am I in real danger?" The answer is: of course not. You can survive some bad feedback. What's the worst that can happen? Maybe you feel a little embarrassed or frustrated, or maybe your feelings get hurt. However, listening to feedback, adjusting, and moving forward are the only ways to get your work published.

9. People want your writing to be good—they are rooting for you. Nobody wants to read a bad poem or story. I first realized this when giving a wedding speech. After weeks of stress, trying to make every word perfect, I grew tired of worrying about other people’s expectations and decided to just have fun. You can't know what people are thinking anyway, so stop trying to hit invisible targets in their heads. It’s important to think of the reader or audience, but it’s impossible and paralyzing to try to think of every reader or audience member.

8. You are not defined by your words or work. If there's an issue with the narrative, character consistency, or wording, it's just a matter of fixing it. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Treat it like missing a loose screw in a bookshelf—fix the problem, and you might just create something great. View your work objectively and it will be a lot easier to take suggestions for improvement.

7. Know, and believe, that a good editor is on your side. Unlike friends, editors are paid to be honest and support your growth professionally. They offer unbiased opinions and detailed feedback, ensuring your writing improves. This may feel harsh, especially if you’re used to softball comments from your loved ones. Just remember that you hired the editor because you wanted your writing to get better, not because you wanted praise. An editor’s feedback is centered around what your writing needs to improve, and they want to see your work published almost as much as you do.

6. Choose publishers, agents, and editors who align with your vision and meet your standards. Readers have unique perspectives that affect their understanding of your characters and ideas. If one person doesn’t connect with your story, others might. Keep submitting if you believe in it. Finding the right publisher is crucial, but don’t accept any offer that comes your way. Start seeing yourself and your reviewers as equals in the writing process. This will help you feel less like a victim or someone waiting to hear what their punishment is.

5. Some people aren’t good at communicating, and their comments about your work may come off wrong. In other cases, constraints on the feedback, such as space in the margins or time limitations, can affect the way feedback is written and perceived. For instance, my editor provides very terse feedback, which some coworkers perceive as harsh. However, our editing platform restricts the note-bubble size, which limits the word count and reduces space for politeness. It is beneficial to consider the context when evaluating feedback. When I learned that this was just how feedback is given at my job, I began to prefer the concise comments, which are actually very clear and to-the-point.

4. Have someone else review your feedback. One time, when my editor’s comments were particularly stinging, I showed them to my wife. She was able to clarify that the critique was about missing “connective tissue” between two statements, not a flaw in my logic or intelligence. Adding a couple of words to one sentence solved the issue, and the article ended up receiving praise from some people high up in the company. An unbiased second opinion helped me understand that the feedback wasn’t bad, and once I understood it and could implement it my writing improved a lot.

3. Writing is a process of constant revision. Like Cormac McCarthy said in a 2007 Rolling Stones article: “writing is rewriting.” Missteps, oversights, and faulty logic are inevitable. Give yourself a break and accept that there will be imperfections in every draft. A saying I’ve been hearing a lot lately goes, “I do my best proofreading after I hit send.” There will always be something else you can change, so you will almost always get some suggestions for improvement. Accept this, and those suggestions won’t sting as much.

2. The greater the risk, the greater the reward—or loss. If your writing is good it takes risks, and so do your characters. The risks I am talking about, however, are those that take place off the page. Tapping into real experiences and emotions can make your writing powerful, but it can leave you feeling vulnerable. It might hurt a lot more if someone says these details are unbelievable, phony, or silly. Don’t play it safe, but be prepared for potentially painful rejection.

1. Remember that you are in charge. After getting feedback, read it and then go take a walk. I feel that the physical distance from my computer gives me emotional distance as well. I do this even when I get good feedback because not all positive feedback is correct, even if it feels good. I’m more likely to take the win and move on without thinking about it. The walk can give you a chance to think about whether the feedback makes sense. Whether it’s good or bad, you need to ask, “Is the feedback going to improve the story?” If not, disregard it.

Criticism is good, even when it feels bad—maybe especially when it feels bad. It helps you develop an external perspective and improve self-editing. It challenges your ideas, exposing weaknesses or assumptions, making your writing clearer. Embrace criticism and rejection to enhance your work.

How do you handle criticism about your writing? Share your experiences and tips in the comments below!